The Jukebox at The Diner Volume Two: "Purple Rain" Part Four - Cake By The Ocean
Track Four: "Cake By The Ocean" by DNCE
Previously on The Jukebox at The Diner Volume Two…
South Padre Island, The Flannagan Residence
December 25th, 2006
1PM, “The Basement”
“Charlie, you’re leaving again aren’t you?” -Mouse
“Just for a few days, Mouse. I’ll be back right after New Years.”
They had begun painting the walls. They couldn’t decide if they should paint purple first or black so they painted the wall with the ballerina bar purple and the wall that ran the length of the house black. Charlie had been telling Mouse a little about Abbey, and her film making, and he told her the story about when he called her from Cleveland.
“So, you and Abbey saw your daughter on a bus with you and me?” -Mouse
“Older us. She thinks its because she has a bad heart.” -Charlie
“So is she pregnant already? That was quick. Are you ready to be a….” -Mouse
“Can I ask a hard question, Charlie?” -M
“Always.” -C
“Why didn’t you want kids before?” -M
“My family. Genetics. There’s a darkness inside of the Jones family. I never believed it was a good idea, I isolate myself Mouse, and I love that your Mother and your Father and you all help me deal with that. I wish I could have believed that your Mother could handle it, me and a child with such a heavy thing inside them, but then you wouldn’t be here, and that would be a travesty. What I do believe is that if I’m not around, that darkness won’t be around as much, and Abbey’s heart is stronger than any other heart I’ve met, strong enough to teach a child how to handle it. It’s just not going to last forever.” -C
“Then you ate some mushroom in the land of the wars and saw your daughter.” -M
“Yep.” -C
“Okay. Is this a secret?” -M
“Yep.” -C
“Charlie?”
Oh, no you’re safe dear reader, Charlie The Unicorn didn’t come out until January 2008.
South Padre Island, The Flannagan Residence
1 PM
Cindy was not happy. Oh, not because Michael was getting married. Cindy had moved on, she’d just never told Michael or Isabella. It was a petty thing, but it still gave her a chuckle now and then. No, Cindy was unhappy because Isabella was going to live-stream something from the wedding. All that work to keep it private and she’s going to stream it? She wasn’t even that mad about the live stream. It’s that she had no idea what was going to happen. In the dark. Complete fucking darkness. You can’t prepare for that.
The small party of people sitting on chairs, and there weren’t many. In fact outside of “Bud Davis” and Cindy it was just the wedding photographer, a New York Times book reviewer Michael has known since college who was hoping for a Margaret Apple scoop, and…
“You little shit. I got you.” Cindy smiled. She slowly walked ever to Isabella, keeping an eye on her target.
“Isabella, “Bud” over there is carrying. Also, he has an ear piece. He’s been talking to someone.”
“Nice catch Cindy. Bud’s part of the private security team. Juliet? That’s not Maggie’s sister. Maggie and her sister haven’t spoken in years. Not since she decided to stay at the diner. Juliet is team leader. I’m trying them out. For book signings and GBC shows. Oh, and I’m sorry I didn’t fill you in on what I’m live-streaming, it’s a surprise for Maggie is all so it’s need to know. It’ll be after they cut the cake. Again, really good catch.” Cindy heard something and realized Mouse had an ear piece as well.
“Wedding Time.” -Mouse
A gong rang out through the sound system, and smoke began to pour up the outer stairs and onto the deck. Another gong rang out and Jenny Portnoy, aka JePo, Gummy Bear Crucifix’s spiritual adviser aka Civil Officiant, rose up the stairs and towards the pulpit.
“Taker’s theme?” -Bud
“Buckle up Bud.” -Juliet
JePo floated up to the pulpit
Michael and Charlie came down the isle between the small rows of chairs and stood on JePo’s left.
Jessie and Penny walked down the isle, each of them with a hand on the basket of blanket flowers they were laying on the white carpet that ran from the French double doors that opened out onto the deck up to the pulpit. Penny and Jessie stood next to Charlie each holding a ring box that had been at the bottom of the basket.
Then the bridesmaids came down. Mouse and Amanda, then Samantha and Alice.
Ed walked Maggie down the isle to Dale Watson’s “Daughter’s Wedding Song”, in her father’s place. Like any good theme song entrance, they waited a minute before coming out.
“Right behind you, Maggie.” -Ed
“You better be right next to, oh, really!” -Maggie
“When we get back to Austin, at The Continental Club.” -Ed
“She’s an amazing woman, Ed. You’re a lucky son of a bitch she got on the right Greyhound.” -Maggie, sharp as a knife even on her wedding day.
“Your father would be proud, Maggie, I only got to know him a little while he was still driving those logging routes, but after he retired and spent more time at the cabin, I realized what a good man he was. That’s how he ended up being the first “Sheriff” of our little hamlet. There wasn’t even a station until Charlie paid for it. Oh, sorry, I think we missed our cue.” -Ed
“Nope, right on time, Ed. Let’s do this.” -Maggie
Dale Watson faded and JePo opened up a book.
She looked at Michael, and then Maggie.
“What we have here is a failure… oh sorry, that’s for my ex.”
There was some nervous laughter before Jepo continued.
“Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of these two magnificent souls and join Michael Ian Flannagan and Margaret Noelle West in Holy Matrimony.”
Michael and Maggie exchanged vows, and maybe one day you’ll read about them, but not today, it’s just there might be a spoiler in there I’m not ready to reveal. So after the usual ring exchanges and declaration of ill intent, to which no one objected, not even Cindy, JePo closed the ceremony.
“By the authority of the great state of Texas, I now pronounce you Husband and Wife. Michael, you may kiss the bride.”
After the kiss, the cake was rolled out onto the deck next to the catering tables as Michael and Maggie walked down the white carpet towards it.
Behind them, select ninjas quietly moved the chairs to the edges of the deck, and moved the pulpit to clear room for the first dance. Of course, those ninjas being Penny, Jessie, and Jenny, it was kind of obvious they were up to something.
After Michael and Maggie each fed each other a bite of cake, Michael put his hands on Maggie’s shoulders.
“Stay right here.”
Then Michael turned and walked towards where the pulpit was, and Charlie, Ed, and Bud Davis stood side by side with Penny on one end by Charlie and Jessie on the other next to Bud.
Cindy saw and looked for Mouse, who had her iPhone out already. That’s when Michael clapped twice and the beat dropped. That’s when catering came out with drink trays of Sex on The Beach.
Mouse had pitched it with a MOVE Dance studio routine she thought everyone could learn. Bud earned MVP honors when he unbuttoned his shirt and threw it like the bridal bouquet into the crowd. His aim was off but he hit the right target as Alice snagged it out of the air, to Ed’s delight.
By the time Mouse cut the live feed at the end of the song almost 50 thousand people had seen it.
"Cake by the Ocean" was co-written by Joe Jonas, Justin Tranter, and Swedish duo Mattman & Robin. The song's title originated from Mattman & Robin's repeatedly confusing the phrase "sex on the beach" for "cake by the ocean" -Wikipedia