Hi, thanks for stopping by. I know I constantly say please don’t read my Substack, or that I call it word vomit and leave warnings about the fact that you’re about to go on a ride you probably would rather wish you hadn’t, but not this time. Sure, it’ll be erratic, cryptic and confusing, but I think I’ve found a solution to the context/subtext issue with my writing, (an actual co-writer instead of an imaginary one, aka @liv.musicby this time) so while I may call this a conversation or a review of a song it’s really just a story. The story of my experience with a song by liv. That song is “Red Hoodie”.
Check out liv.’s website and social media to find out more about her and her upcoming LP “Young, Dumb, and in Love”, it’s out on November 4th. There’s a link to it further on in the story, and if you click on random “liv.’s” from here on out I’ll link to her different socials. Here. We. Go. Ready liv. ?
It actually started on Wednesday, the idea to write about her new song, that is… when liv. announced she’d be releasing a new one on Friday, 10/14. I am always in Morro Bay, CA on Wednesdays. I take walks in the surf and adventure in the labyrinth of stone temples and cool thrift shops and Central Coast Music on Morro Bay Blvd. (where I bought the Alligator Record 20th Anniversary CD for like the 10th time).
I also listen to Van Plating on the ride back. On this ride though, since they have been working together, I listened to liv. I thought, what will that song will be about? So I took a few pictures on the bus ride back randomly and thought wouldn’t it be cool if one of them worked to promote her new track. It didn’t matter. I already had the picture I needed.
A fun little Instagram story ensued… and led to the declaration of “Red Hoodie Day”.
It was really a ton of fun to think of that and have it play out the way it did. I am now the proud owner of my very own red hoodie. I am now a member of the #brokenheartsclub. I mean, I got to use Bill Pullman’s speech from “Independence Day!”. Who hasn’t wanted to do that? I know I have… I mean. I remember one particular day, oh, like July 4th 1998. I celebrate that day every year without a ring on my finger. Not that I wouldn’t mind another ring, I just really kinda minded that one.
I can’t wait for it to arrive. (It’s here!)
I already have an idea for it. However, I have to explain something. See, I’ve had this thing about breakup songs. I hinted at it recently on Facebook and Instagram but I didn’t really have the story to go with it. Now I do.
Buckle up.
Maybe I’m the only one who does this, but throughout life you’ll find yourself coming across really inspiring talented people that you become curious about. As you learn about them you may find it’s a little more than curiosity, and eventually you may find yourself playing “what if…”. Whenever I get to that point (someplace I’ve been recently because I’m interacting with so many amazing people through the playlists I’ve been making and promoting that and the artists and songs involved) I do something kind of ridiculous.
I find our breakup song. I know…
Right? (that echoed, cool)
It’s sort of becomes a placeholder of all the good things that happen, I imprint them into the song along the way, so when I listen to it it triggers all the reasons I cared about the person the song is for. It’s not always romantic. Friendships come and go like the Interstate. #lyricalthievery #gymclassheros.
Inevitably, in my case at least, I’m reminded that most of the people who come in and out of my life are just part of the journey and not the destination, so however and whenever we part, I’ll have that breakup song to listen to in the quiet that exists where that person used to reside. Some of us call that “The Blues.”
It’s also kind of tantamount to the process I use now with musicians. To really dive into the art, and the artists perspective, and try to approach the song from the lens of my own filters, as well as unfiltered, hoping to find layers and subtext that the artists have imprinted into their song.
It’s a pretty vulnerable process, something I’ve developed in the safety and solitude of a former life I’m working to leave behind, because it wasn’t really a life at all. That was designed that way, and I was fine with it until the ‘rona made you all as crazy as I am and that means I’m normal and that just won’t do. However, I’ve discovered it’s a little risky to hang your heart in the wind like a fool hangs their ass out the car window, because sometimes it gets smacked, and it’s a little different when you're interacting with a human being and not just their art. I really want to share the same vulnerability and soul bearing in my writing when it comes to artists and their songs as Tribute to the songs of theirs that are in my life. So it’s personal. Sure, I promise you I’ll still keep Matt Damon-ing the shit out of my life for entertainment. There will be some truths here, but I have a therapist for the parts of these stories that you don’t need to hear here. It’s just sometimes, you can’t avoid the… insomniac calamity of it all. No matter how hard you try, when that “what if…” game gets a little too real, well…
Sometimes you get fucked when you’re fishing for the blues.
I’ve become comfortable enough to trust that most of the emotions I’m experiencing through artists music are coming through my music spirit and not through my heart, as described above, and it really opened up a level of creativity for me that I think might just work.
I totally fall in love with the song.
You just need a really good breakup song to get yourself out of it.
So there I was on 10/13, being clever and thought holy shit, that picture of me in my lil red devil Halloween outfit as a tike is perfect. Then I started to think about how to promote the Spotify release. Well… I didn’t pre plan any of what happened next.
I realized I was listening to a breakup song. You know, the kind I look for when I find an interesting person. A song about a red hoodie. So, I decided to experience it. I bought a red hoodie online and put myself right smack in the middle of liv.’s song.
I know, you are already saying it in your head. Jason, how are you going to get out of this? Is there a breakup song for a breakup song? Aren’t you going to end up in a conundrum? Well, as I said earlier, I’m smack in the middle of it so I can’t really answer that… but I think there might be a shamalamadingdong of a solution.
So I thought I’d share that experience. Write it all down, the experience of listening to the song, and realizing that I bought a red hooded sweatshirt on 10/13 sounds a lot like…
“My mom bought you when I was just 13.
The brightest red sweatshirt I ever seen
*yep I’m going there*
I love you sweeeeatshirt
Red hooded
Sweeeeatshirt
Dip dip dip
Sweeeeatshirt
Shama lama ding dong
Sweeeeatshirt.”
I mean, who doesn’t love that song… However… here’s an important question.
While I’m listening to Red Hoodie, and posting stories and comments, and writing this Substack, I’m imprinting some really great memories into it. I don’t need to sing Red Hooded Sweatshirt… I don’t have to break up with “Red Hoodie”. I mean, there’s a Red Hoodie Day now. It’s in my calendar. Next year, where ever I am, I am going to celebrate it. 10/13 or 10/14. It’s up to liv. 10/14 is kinda cooler cause it’s not 2/14… you decide and let us know.
(liv. here. Let’s go with 10/14).
It just may be that Red Hoodie isn't a breakup song at all now. It's an ANTHEM! Who breaks up with an anthem? Not me. No breakup song needed… here at least. However, in a little bit we’ll get back to the personal part of this story.
Speaking of liv. the human, I’m mean, this is supposed to be about her music, and I’d like to get to know her a little better so I granted her collaborator status. I was hoping for red ink but Substack ain’t having that. Choose your font and style wisely liv.
Here. We. Go.
20 Questions with liv.
Wait I do have one burning pre-question… what’s the subtext here? I love subtext. It’s like a caesura with meaning. Silent but deadly even. Sneaks up on you years after you’ve been listening to a song… (Might be disappointing, but no subtext here! Just a genuine thank you for always being supportive).
What’s your favorite color? (Yellow)
What song is “On Repeat” in your head? (I often find myself having “Fruit Salad” by The Wiggles stuck in my head. Not sure why. If it’s not that song, right now it’s “Hurricane” by Band of Heathens)
What is your favorite word to sing? (Good question. I think a lot of people would assume that it’s a curse word. Half of my discography has profanity in it. In actuality, I think the phrase “do you feel it?” from my song “Young, Dumb, and in Love” might be my favorite to sing).
Have you ever keyed a car in the middle of the day? (Nope).
Did Van Plating ask you if you were feeling cool the first time you talked?? (First time we spoke was before “The Way Down” was out! But I’m pretty sure I’ve made that pun to Van since we became friends).
What is a question you want to be asked but haven’t? (One of my favorite ‘Get to Know You’ questions to ask is: If the zombie apocalypse were to happen right now, where would you go, and what five things would you bring with you? No one’s asked me that, and I’ve been thinking about my answer for a good while).
To ascot or not to ascot, is that the question? (I admittedly had to look up the word ascot. For those of you who aren’t sure what it is, it’s a “broad, silk necktie” and I have to admit, I dig it. It’s a vibe)
Do you make sure everyone in your life can swim so you don’t have to be a life vest? (Literally and figuratively, this is something I need to get better at).
Nine is my favorite number, what’s yours? (Probably 3)
When someone asks your name have you ever said “Call me 10”? (No, but oftentimes I tell people they can call me whatever they want, so “10” would not be out of the cards)
What’s your super power? (When people get hurt, my solution is to bring them juice. Can’t go wrong with juice).
Do you remember your first breakup song? Mine was “Love Bites”. So many tears in a black trench coat in the rain. Sorry. 80’s kid here. (Mine was admittedly Taylor Swift’s “Breathe”)
Can you name 13 items on your favorite drive through? (I don’t normally go through drive-throughs, but I love anything french fry)
How particular about your morning coffee or tea? (I rarely drink coffee. In university I used to drink coffee only when I needed to write essays ((which was pretty often)). I am more of a tea girl myself. In the morning, I like my Peppermint Harney & Sons tea. I don’t take the tea bag, don’t steep it, don’t add anything. If I’m at a café, I like London Fogs)
First artist or band poster? (I genuinely don’t think I had any artist or band posters growing up that were my own. My sister and I shared a room and she had One Direction posters up. Now my “artist/band posters” are more pictures/merch from my music friends)
Picasso or Van Gogh (Van Gogh, primarily because of Don McLean’s song “Vincent”)
How many times have you had second thoughts about this? (3 by now HAHA)
Which one of the residents (non-human) at Noble Farm do you most resemble? (This is a really good question. I’ll have to ask my mom what she thinks)
If you and Van Plating were transformed into Muppets, who would you be? What are the odds it’s Statler and Waldorf? Who’s who? (Van is easily Floyd Pepper. The outfits, the performance, the sense of humor. Very Van. Me? I took a Buzzfeed quiz and got Rizzo the Rat)
Are you familiar with the game of questions from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern? Be very careful with that answer… (I was an English major in university, so I read a lot of Shakespeare. Too much honestly, so I don’t know what the game is. My retention has decreased due to an insane volume of information being thrown at me in small increments of time and also having had Covid honestly)
I guess you might be wondering now if I currently have that kind of breakup song in rotation…
I do… but y’all should know the story. It began with Sour Skittles.
That’s an old photo I used from my first trip to the beach, in decades, by commandment of The Breakup Song Thief.
I decided to reuse it for “Lemon” because… I was thinking about the sour taste on my tongue from…
You see there’s this great Instagram out take from one of Eric Gales music lesson videos…
It was on my mind this summer, as it’s FREAKING HILARIOUS and while I was in line at 7-11 I kept starting at them, but decided on the OG Skittles. On my way back to my studio I ran into someone I see quite often because she works near my place, and I offered her some. “Only if they are they Sour Skittles.” They were not. I hung my head in shame, admitted I had ignored the universes signs, walked back and bought her some as penance. That’s how we started talking. Then she shared a song with me one day, a really good one. Now, you have to understand, and I kept my reaction understated at the time, but giving me a great song I’ve never heard is like making me your favorite dish. It’s a special thing. It’s by the band WILLIS. “I Think I Like When It Rains”
I liked it so much I put it on the very first R&R playlist I released and added it to the #lyricwall.
In retrospect, that Sour Skittles incident jump started my creativity. If you asked me then, I would have thought she had a music spirit. I’m not so sure about that, even though I’ve handed her a pair of drumsticks and “lent” her a few band t-shirts to pique her interest as a merch girl in music. I even shared my current breakup song with her. “Gone” by Van Darien. I love this song because it completely encapsulates how I feel about California, and I swear to you it feels like this state is pulling out all the stops along the way to keep me here, from meeting some amazing people to screwing with my DMV record so much even they said it’s easier to just move than try and fix it. Well. She stole it. I’m happy she did. I’d noticed certain things about her over time and, after a personal experience with my daughter, I related to her that I thought it was probably time to take a look at her work situation. I’ll leave it at that. I mean… this is what she stole. It must have helped. She quit. However it left me with a conundrum, because I wasn’t sure if we’d even talk after she left, she wouldn’t be around and we really didn’t know each other all that well. I wished her luck and hoped one day she’d get back to me about music, but even if she doesn’t… there’s still something about her I’m trying to figure out… more on that later…
So she stole my breakup song. That’s never happened before, and I thought I’d share the story of The Breakup Song Thief with Van Darien. When my merch order arrived there was something in it I wasn’t expecting. It was pretty clear it wasn’t mine… I’d never ask an artist to do this. I wouldn’t buy it from them either. Songs are sacred to me. So this is what showed up on the 20th anniversary of the last birthday I had with my mom. That birthday was the first time I ever did anything outside of working in radio within the music industry. At her bequest while she was battling cancer, she suggested I go check out the local open mic and when her birthday came around I asked some of them to come perform. Any time I’m around music on her birthdays something happens. It’s how Emma my Strat came into my life. I found her on Sept. 20th 2016.
This Sept. 20th however, this showed up.
9 days before The Breakup Song Thief’s birthday. So yeah. That threw me. I wrote Van Darien and was like, um you know this could totally change the dynamic with The Breakup Song Thief. I hadn’t heard from her, and while clearly this was for her, I figured I should probably be careful about how I get it to her. I could DM it to her, or I could just wait… I wasn’t sure what to do except it seemed selfish to have that in my back pocket to drop on her unaware… so I posted it. I haven’t heard anything yet… although I’m obviously, as you and possibly she are aware now, making this a little hard to ignore, and I really don’t want to be selfish, but it’s a good story…
Also, I clearly stated on the last day I saw her that I’m a Storyteller…
I think I’m drawn to her because she might be a muse for me. My creativity skyrocketed after that Sour Skittles event. I’m writing in my Substack again, and I like this format. It’s personal sure, but so are the songs I’m writing about. I’m like 20 playlists deep and about to turn it into a radio show once I feel like rearranging furniture, and, about my weekly trips to Morro Bay… she’s the one who pretty much commanded it. That was no small thing. The Ocean and I have had some issues. It’s tried to return me to Neptune plenty of times in my youth, so I’ve kept a distance. For decades. Just me putting my feet in the surf when the tides going out and feeling the sand slip out underneath me like it did so many years ago… is a win. I have no idea where this story ends but it’s never the destination, it’s the journey. I like this one, and the title. “The Story Of The Breakup Song Thief”. I wanted to find a way to thank her for the inspiration she gave me and wish her a belated Happy Birthday, so I thought I’d tell her with a story. This one.
So what song am I listening to while I think about all the things that we shared or said? This one. This cute pop throwback from Richard Marx that just so happened to be released the same week I had the chat with her about her work situation… So now writing this Substack with liv. is a part of that song too… It’s really good. It’s repeatable. I definitely recommend it. #rnr
So here we are, a whole Substack full of breakup songs and stories later and we should probably talk about liv.’s first CD “Young, Dumb, and in Love”, which you can pre order now here:
Sorry, how many more times as an writer will I have to say I just can’t put that comma after Dumb without knowing why, so… since I doubt it’s a mistake…
When to Use a Comma before And
There’s a totally good artistic reason for that so it’s cool. I mean, I’m sure there is… You're feeling cool about that aren't you liv.? (Yep!)
Right? (it echoed again)
Oh yeah pre order liv.’s CD by clicking the image below and you’ll be taken to Bandcamp, which of course is no small part of my scheme here:
Still there liv.? It’s not time to say goodnight to this alliance is it?
Right? (There are 2 more Rights that echo left, there were 5 in “Right?”)
Right? (I love that you wait the echo out)
It's 1:22am how many more times can I say… (damn you insomniac calculator screenshot giving away the time I took this)
Well you know how I am ending this now…
…
Scene: “The Stranger” by liv. plays in the background
CC: singing “She is wise beyond her years, she is wise beyond her age, she can look at me, hear my story and write the words on the next page”
That’s a familiar story to me. It’s the story of a Muse from years ago. It was 2010 so I doubt it’s… well, The Breakup Song Thief reminded me of her from day one. I kept my distance for over 2 years because of that and well, I was playing Boo Radley/Old Ben Kenobi then still, but that’s a story for another day, unless you’re absolutely bloody fucking bonkers and go find it elsewhere in my Substack, but, don’t do that. Really. It’s a rabbit hole of word vomit. Seriously, I can’t stress it anymore than I have that you really should listen to me on this. I mean, I’m not your life vest, if you read anything else written before this you’ll fade away into the abyss and drift away forever. So I’m going to ask you not to do that until after you’ve pre ordered “Young, Dumb, and in Love”.
Right? (the echo drifts away forever along with you)
The End
Credits:
Van Plating
Van Darien
Noble Farm
Richard Marx
The Breakup Song Thief
Mid Credits Scene: Jason sits and stares at the screen in front of him, his article just a few thanks away from being ready to send to liv. for collaboration. A dramatic caesura of staring ensues.
Jason: “Oh fuck. I set myself up for it, didn’t I. Don’t you dare, liv. Don’t you dare steal my breakup song.”
liv: (Don’t worry LOL)
More Credits
Lemons
Liam Bauman
Red Hoodies
Eric Broyhill
Angus
Drums By Reid Stains
My vintage street Chucks aka “my favorite pair of shoes”
Taylor Ard
Rain
Eric Gales
Sour Skittles
Sweetheart Pub
Muppets
The Richard Marx
Kiefer Sutherland!
Did you really think I would write three thousand four hundred and eighteen words about breakup songs and not have one for you liv. ?
=j