A Jukebox at The Diner Prequel: "Year of The Cat" Death Wish - Part Two
A retelling of the detective series inspired by the short story "Miss Jackson"
Previously on Year of The Cat…
“They’re on foot, heading towards the river on South Congress. Let’s move.”
The Detectives hadn’t really known what to expect except mayhem.
That’s when something unexpected happened. Later, upon reflection, “The Squad!” would joke this was a crossover event. Detective Norberg would never live it down.
“Make tonight a special night, she said.”
Detective Rumack knew this quote from the marriage counseling scene in Naked Gun 33 and 1/3 but Elaine was channeling John McClane in the air ducts of Nakatomi Tower as they headed out of the station towards their cruiser.
“Dinner, wine, romantic music. Put on the 24-hour Johnny Mathis station. Just be lovers. Robbie and Sara… let’s meet in Austin, we’ll get together, and have a few laughs…”
The air support was already heading towards the scene, which was now going utterly viral on social media. Shirley got a text from Sinnie and Jenny who were at Captain Quacks and offered to help but the city’s law enforcement was already on high alert.
“Enjoy this from the safety of your damn fine cup of joe and pie you two. I’ll update you ASAP.”
Meanwhile, Robbie was hoping that the left turn under the Congress Avenue Bridge would save his ass until Sara burnt out some of that wild rage. It was always like this, passionate violence. Most of the time they saw eye to eye but when they didn’t it was usually bad news for anything nearby. Luckily for him, the APD had started gathering their forces in the overflow lot at the Hyatt. He walked straight up to Detective Norberg and introduced himself. Sweaty and out of breath from running, he bent over, hands on knees trying to catch his breath.
“Hi, I’m the groom you’re looking for.”
Meanwhile, it was easy to spot Sara from the air after turning right near the small late afternoon gathering of Bat Watchers on the river boardwalk. The helicopter radioed her location to the Lake Patrol and a boat pulled beside her.
It was 48 hours until the wedding.
Later that evening…
“The Full Court Press Conference”
Detectives Norberg and Rumack stood behind their Captain while he stood at the podium explaining the reasoning behind “The Wedding”. At the same time, political and law enforcement pundits tried to make sense of it all on the news networks’ prime-time shows. Besides a parole violation and misdemeanor, neither Robert Ford nor Sara Lee Evans was in any real trouble. Still, thanks to the creative direction of his two top detectives they had been picked up and processed and would stay in holding until their court proceeding and wedding on Sunday at The Mohawk. It would be attended by a judge, law enforcement, and the press only. The Captain pulled out a shoe box with the business cards of the press in attendance, almost 100 strong.
“I’m going to draw 50 cards. If I call your name please see the detectives afterward to receive your credentials for the show…”
The Captain turned and looked back at the detectives and started laughing as he read the first card he drew. He handed it to Detective Norberg.
All three of them looked out into the crowd, knowing someone out there was playing games.
The Captain drew another card. The first one wasn’t getting read.
"Let’s try this again. FOX7, see the detectives.”
After handing out all the credentials and heading back to the Captain’s office, Detective Rumack looked at the first card again.
“What are we supposed to do about this, Captain?”
The Captain stopped outside his office.
“Hand me the card.” Detective Rumack complied.
He opened his office door, walked to the waste bin by his desk, and dropped the card in it.
“Go check on our two love birds and walk them through tomorrow’s rehearsal dinner and what’s going to happen after the wedding.”
The Detectives stared at the waste bin.
“That is all, Detectives. Please shut the door.”
And that was that.
The Captain looked down into the empty waste bin and read the card lying alone at the bottom.
There was a QR Code on it.
The Captain pulled the card out and called Forensic Services.
The Detectives had the newly reunited couple in an interrogation room.
"So if we get married and leave town, you’ll drop the charges?” Sara was a little confused. “I mean, why not just lock us up again?”
Detective Rumack looked at Robert and Sara and smiled. She reached for the folder in front of her and opened it up. She picked up the airline voucher and put it in front of the two of them. “Get married, go on your honeymoon, don’t come back to Austin.”
Robert started laughing. “So why The Mohawk?”
“Because Hans Gruber and The Die Hards are playing.” Detective Norberg then got quiet and whispered to them. "The two of you are just a fly in the ointment, Robbie. The monkey in the wrench. The pain in the ass. Listen, none of this makes sense on the outside looking in, but honestly, the math works. It’s cheaper this way. We’re just going to have to settle for less destruction than you two have previously wrought. We’re still recovering from an insane family of clown robbers and Avril’s “Hello Kitty” is back on the radio by popular demand.
“Ha sounds like…” Robbie figured the kid was involved. Jessie was way more involved than he thought. The kid’s got grit. He was just starting to wonder what she might be getting up to in Vegas when Sara ripped him right back to reality.
“Sounds like who Robbie? Who are you thinking about?”
Detective Rumack chimed in as well. “Yeah, Robbie, who are you thinking…”
“Don’t you DARE call him that! Only I call him Robbie, you got that… Detective?”
Right about that moment, Jessie was sitting poolside at the Tropicana when she saw a photo of the billboards promoting a wedding.
“Meet You At The Mohawk”
She was staring at a picture of Robbie and his new old fiance. He didn’t mention that when he told her about Sara and meeting her there. She started laughing.
“If I leave now, I just might make it in time to crash it. Fuck it, I’m bored. Why not.”
Ok, buckle up. I have no idea what’s about to happen. Coming soon, “Get Married or Die Hard”. =j